Man died with no dignity and no honor. Probably buried by prisoners…

According to the laws in South Africa, someone who is poor with no family or relatives is usually buried by prisoners.

Man was my classmate at school. He was an orphan, who had came from the villages to pursue studies in the townships. He was taken in by an abusive aunt who lived with her daughter. We’ve often heared all the stories that happened in his household, that left him with a silent voice, broken heart and severe speech impediments.

I guess our relationship was mutually intertwined because of our similar backgrounds and family issues.

I can’t get off the heaviness I feel whenever I think about Man. He had tried to reach out to me along the years through social media. It happened that I wasn’t using the same Facebook account I had after I left school. Only recently when I gained access to that account, I realized that man had been trying to reach out to me.

After all, I was also dealing with baggages from my own childhood traumas, pain and ravaged by frustration and the need to make it in ljfe. So that one day, I too could have a family that is anything ljke the households I grew up in.

I remember one December holiday I had came back home from the hustle and buzzle of the big cities like Johannesburg and Durban. News came that Man had been in hospital for months… I immediately told the guys we need to go see him.

With little that we had, as I have also never worked… we managed to add some money together, the 3 of us who were in the same class with Man and bought him a 2 litre coke, bread and some chips. We ate like we would when we were all suffering at school with no families.

As I remember correctly, Man was also housed by another friend who was staying alone with no parents. I was too, also taken in by another friend whose father passed on a year before we finished school.

This was our usual routine, to help each other, find each other piece jobs if we could.

You know, I sometimes ask myself — why some people are designed to suffer till they die in this life, and some never experience the painful realities we go through as abandoned children of this earth.

I remember man expressing painfully how he will avenge himself to his aunt and cousin when he comes out of the hospital. We definitely had made sure to tell him to never do it. It was probably not worth it.

After High School, most of us had went to initiation, the rite of passage in the wild as a man in my culture. It had been after 5 years now, seeing Man at the hospital. Man hadn’t been to the mountain, still juggling piece jobs for survival and our other classmate had given him a room to stay at his house till he finds a better place to stay.

It is still today I feel sad for him… I cannot imagine the humiliation, vilification and pressure he had faced as an adult knowing very well you are not allowed in some spaces because you have not crossed the rite of passage stage to be regarded as a man. I too personally still face those vilifications and humiliations even though I’ve had my fair share of my full month in the wild.

I recently heared that Man had been shot dead and there were no explanations as to why.

The heaviness still clouds me. Perhaps I am afraid for myself, especially during festive season - where celebrations and mockery of the weak is ripe.

I know that too, I have been abandoned, stripped of my dignity , humiliated and abused by people that I know. Although I am strong, the memories of the torture of those orphans I have lived with across the years, always make me wonder if my life, will too… end the way most of them have ended.

Dying as an undignified man, with no family of your own. Disowned and discarded by the families you grew up with is something I have always tried to work against.

As I’m writing this… my heart is probably sobbing… maybe Man was part of my soul lesson and likewise to him was I…

There is no dignity for a man my age with no job, homeless, no children and not even involved in any form of crimes for survival.

I’ve watched another guy in my hood,who used to come eat by my mother’s house and most families around had always given him food and stuff. There are however talks that he was once arrogant and did bad by his own family and people. I had seen him once shouting at his uncle, telling me, when J stopped him… that I do not know what his uncle has done.

I ask myself sometimes? perhaps was that the only way to do it? because I had urged Man to never take revenge and let God do what He does, if He wills it. However Man probably did something too, after all it’s not easy to stay strong forever while you are dying inside. Just like this guy I am talking about, maybe he couldn’t take jt anymore. He had to fight his uncle by all means. Unlike me, locking myself in a room, swollen eyes, slowly loosing my health and experiencing painful realizations that I know I can fight… but I have never felt to be a person to fight, or even speak bad to people. I even struggle to utter a swear word because of the instilled principles that I would claim had helped me experience a little of Grace through this life thing that we go through.

This other guy had also did things to me, but for some reason I looked passed his doings. I saw the potential in him. Often laughed at for allowing him space around me.

Maybe J was wrong…

The guy also died a seriously painful death. One time he had been found walking to community members looking for help, after he had been raped by 4 men as the story goes. Months later, this chap was found dead in his mother’s house, with a very stinking smell, rodents had indulged themselves on his corpse.

I wonder how does it feel to die like a dog? no… dogs are dignified — dying ljke a wild animal in the Kruger National Park. Ravaged by vultures with no human who dare cares of your soul.

I do pray that Lord God? as He has kept me until today.

That he continues to keep me, protect me from the snares, blares, and jaws of the devouring energies of those who are after the soft spots of our being.

As highlighted grateful as I am, for all Lord God has managed to give me and make me experience along the years. I would have prayed and asked God to honor me with a family of my own, but now I am only asking me to protect new, cover me, shelter me, comfortable me and soothe my soul from the aches I may never have anyone to share with.

It seems like some souls are designed to accompany the other souls to the finish lines, why I’m saying this?

Because there is a day I know I was supposed to die too, but because there was another soul I had never met. The controllers of this universe knew that some of my chaotic energy will release another soul they needed who was important to the development of a particular tribe. Thjs is the reason J believe in the stars that shine at night. I’ve always been able to feel their energetic messages as if I was speaking to a human being. I will share this on my next post about how another star cluster has helped me to a point that after I’ve been helped, it released some energies from me that helped them. Although we have never met. I will title this coming the article “I knew I could have died that night”

Man, I didn’t abandoned you chap! I was also living from mouth to hand in those big cities, and my destiny had been hijacked by spiritual harvesters. My ultimate plan was coming back for all of us who had suffered. I didn’t succeed. I only managed to stay alive… I saw your messages at times, I was always on the road trying to make it in life. Hoping that I would one day stop being homeless and hopeless. You know too, we thought our lives was going to end after school. We had no support chap. You guys were a little older than me, you guys atleast had piece jobs. I resorted to beggjng and handouts Even today I ask God, how is it possible that I have been gjven handout clothes up until this age. Not even one day I ever had bought enough clothes from my own money. At this age I am still homeless I hope you understand chap that where ever you are I have always had you in mind.

May You Soul Rest in Eternal Peace My Friend❤️

I still remember you the one who stole my dictionary haahahaa 😂😂😂🤣

I remember seeing it when I visited you guys during lunch time, I just didn’t say anything. I wasn’t ready to have a verbal argument with you, because I knew how angry you were. Almost everyone was scared of you in class … but we loved you… We understood!